It's tough to organize ones thoughts when one has imbibed some celebratory alcohol.
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And that is why I had to continue this the next day! LOL.
Review-
It's been a surprising year (technically two years but that's an issue I don't want to get into right now.) Early in the year I went back to school, not knowing what I was going for or where it would lead, I just needed to feel like I was moving forward. I met some truly incredible people who've stuck around in my life and have brightened so many corners. I am eternally grateful for new friends and old friends that stuck.
I also ended a 10 year friendship with R, someone I thought I was incredibly close with and who understood me and whom I understood. I tried to end it as friendly as possible, with newly found boundaries I insisted on consisting of kindness,consideration, and reciprocation. What I got in return was vilification and cruelty. Had that always been there and I just didn't see it? Or had that developed during our separation due to outside influences? I'll never know and that's ok, because I just don't need that kind of energy in my life. I'm thankful to have had him part of my life, if only as an example of what not to do and who not to trust, and the changes in myself that came about from losing that close friendship are positive ones, so I'll just concentrate on gratitude.
I finally got a job, after 2 years of looking, thanks to a little nepotism on the part of my cousin. And I'll take it. Survival means having to swallow that bitter pill called Pride sometimes. It pays for crap and the hours suck since it's only part time, but the people are real gems, and that in itself is something to be grateful for as working for/with horrible people can be a poop storm not worth swimming in.
And my divorce with D creeps ever so slowly forward as well. Talk about really understanding the term "bittersweet". I'm excited about my new life, scared to death of the loss of my old one (as well as just survival issues), nervous about taking care of myself, and sad...lots of sad. I truly want him to be happy, and me not miserable, and I hope we can work out a way both of those can be a truth at the same time.
And to bridge this post, I have to mention L. Meeting him has been the most beautiful part of my year. He inspires me every day to be a better person. And I hope that continues through 2013 and beyond.
Which brings me to projections-
Health: Continued diet tweaks and increased exercise regimes. Especially since I am planning to run a half marathon in May. Which, is nuts, since I am incredibly unfit and have never even run a 5 or 10k. I'm insane. Oh well, trying is more important than succeeding.
Wealth: Not sure wtf to do about that honestly. I *could* look for another job that is full time, or a part time that works with my current part time, but I don't know if either would accomidate full time school as well. I'm not a kid with endless energy anymore so I don't think I can do too much more than I am. So maybe work on that Etsy shop and my art?! Which leads me to...
Art: Yes. A lot of projects under my wings that I need to get a move on. I say that every year but it's finally gotten to the point where I need to shit or get off the pot. Seriously. And I know it. I need work to sell, and I need work for a portfolio.
School: Thankfully, I finally know what I want to be when I grow up! :P That is a load off my mind.
Family/Friends: I'd like to be closer to my brother, my cousins, my adopted mom, and my aunt. I'd like to spend more time with my friends. I need to work out how to combine these things with the other things I need to do.
Those are my main areas of worry for 2013. Anything else is just frosting on my cake. Or ka'ak as my brother would say.
