Confused

That I would be loved...or not.

I don't think I've ever felt so alone since I was 13.

It's amazing how much emotional pain a human being can take. Sometimes I have to just..breath through it. Take it into my body, from my body, all around and inside and just...channel it through to nothing.

Everything seems disjointed. Unreal. Partial thoughts and horrible visions.

How do I go on when everything is wrong?

One day at a time. But even that is sometimes too much. Or not enough. Or both at the same time. One hour at a time. One minute at a time. One second of just...nothingness.

Horrible guilt. Rage. Pain. Sorrow. Helplessness. Hopelessness. Jealousy. Anger. Greed. Selfishness. Want. Misery.

One day at a time. Just need to...breath. To hold on. What for? I don't know.